Saturday, May 26, 2007

Air Traffic Control

It seems since 911 that airports are getting more particular about what you can take on an airplane. Above is a glass display case full of items that you cannot take on an airplane flying out of the Kansas City Airport, please look them over carefully. Of course I was completely blind sided by these specific policies, and was quite ticked when I had to leave my chainsaw and blow torch with security. What happened to the good old days when you could safely stow your chainsaw under your seat and your blow torch in the overhead compartment? Of course, I know the real reason for these new policies, and it's not terrorism, folks. The fact of the matter is the pretzels and peanuts aren't free anymore! I've had two friends recently fly the friendly skies, and if they wanted the previously free snack items they had to pay for them. If some flight attendant told me that I had to pay a dollar for a stale bag of pretzels or annoyingly, over-salted peanuts; and I actually had a chain saw under my seat, you better believe I'd whip it out and demand a donut!

In all seriousness, do you really have to tell people not to bring these items, and what about all the things they left out... like a yak. "Sir, you're going to have to leave your yak behind" ... or a canoe. How about the all to common wood chipper! It would be much easier if they just showed you what you can take on. The glass case would simply include a fully clothed mannequin holding a magazine. There isn't that so much less confusing!


Tim Kirkwood said...

Sadly, when dealing with the general public, you have speak to the "lowest common denominator”. For instance, if you read the packaging on a plastic Superman cape in your local toy store, it will say, “Does not give you the ability to fly”.
Case in point: A family checked their baggage on their flight. During the flight, the crew noticed an intense smell of gasoline. Upon landing it was checked it out. Seems the family had packed their son’s gas-powered skateboard with a full tank of gas. The box was soaked through, and it was a miracle the aircraft didn’t burst into flames.

Tim Kirkwood, Author
The Flight Attendant Job Finder & Career Guide

Anonymous said...

Your mom's laughter is priceless. We love John and Mimi. They are so proud of all their kids and grandkids. What a blessed family!

Conda Hunger

Theresa said...

Yeah! I am really glad you are blogging. Your posts are hysterical! Blessings

Will said...


Your posts are priceless dude.

Sierra said...

oh John. the world would be a sad place without yhou. Less laughter that is fo sho.