Saturday, March 17, 2007

Farewell From Shreveport

Folks there's a good chance that this is the last post I'll be blogging here from Shreveport. Just a few southern establishments we drove by on our stay that I wanted to share with you in closing. Most of them speak for themselves. Adios!

Cajun Daiquiris

Just look at the picture folks. Ya'll are pretty smart, you put two and two together. I'm still in shock and awe. A drive-thru Daiquiri stand? Bad day at work? Slip on by "Cajun Daiquiris" and enjoy a little drunk driving on the way home while you forget the rest of your day. I've seen it all now!

Pie Works

I was all excited when I saw this restaurant called "Pie Works". We were all ready to pull in for some good 'ole southern pie when we noticed the neon "Coors Light", "Bud Light" and various other cheap brews featured in the window display. Pie and Coffee, yes! Pie and Ice Cream, absolutely! But Pie and Beer, there just isn't enough red neck in me to go there!

Laundry Basket Tavern

Tracie and I actually did some laundry at this place called "The Laundry Basket". As an added benefit to its customers, the "Laundry Basket" has an adjacent room called "The Laundry Basket Tavern" which features a bar as well as gambling machines. So quite possibly, you can go in, throw your clothes in the wash, get drunk, loose all your money, and not have enough money to dry your clothes, all within an hour or less!

Psychic Yard Sale

Notice this particular Psychic is having a yard sale, which leaves one to wonder, "What does a Psychic sell at a yard sale?" Old readings? Other peoples readings? Totally useless facts that you already know? Semi-chipped crystal balls? Faded Tarot Cards? Chicken bones?

Friday, March 16, 2007

Round 'Em Up 'Lil Guys

During our stay in Louisiana, one of the coolest things I've gotten to do was to attend a midget rodeo. It was quite exhilarating!

Thursday, March 15, 2007

News Alert: CPR Manneqin Babies Gone Wild

It's the saddest thing I've seen folks. Tonight Tracie and I wandered into a back room of the NICU at Christus Schumptus St. Mary's Hospital. Apparently we stumbled onto the aftermath of a wild party thrown by the CPR Mannequin Babies, Reggie and Jeffey. Formula cans strewn all over the floor, lullabies blaring. One of them peed on the TV, thus no picture. But the worst of it, was something one of them had written on the wall with a big fat Crayola crayon. It read, "For some good breast milk call 1-800-MY-MOM."

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Hi Jesus!

How to Win Friends and Influence the Lost

Trac and I were driving behind a car today and saw this license plate. In case you can't read it, it says, "Got Christ? It's HELL without HIM."

All I've got to say is, Crap Dang and Heck Fire it's southern evangelism at its best!

Don't come any closer folks, I just ate a bean burrito!

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Baby Products

NOTE TO SELF: Do not mistake this for toothpaste at 4:30AM when getting ready for the 6AM set.

Monday, March 12, 2007

"The Confession Booths" - '07 WORLD TOUR

This is my new band. Gary on the left is an amazing drummer. While Shawn on the right lays down the funky bass lines with a sweet, tasty groove. Me, I sing lead vocals and play shredding guitar.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Hospital Art

Walking into Christus Schumpert St. Mary's Hospital yesterday, this painting caught my eye. Mostly because, when walking past this quickly, you really feel like Jesus is waving to you. Not realizing that it was a painting at first, I waved back and said, "Hi Jesus"! I quickly snapped out of it and realized it was a piece of hospital art. Upon close inspection, I saw that this is the story of the men that lowered the lame man through the roof.... of their very Mexican looking hacienda. I mean, come on people, if you're going to paint a Biblical story let's at least get the shingles right. It was probably straw or mud, and not something Zorro could run across!

One more thing, and why does Jesus look like Eric Clapton?

Magic Shell

I had a brownie sundae covered in magic shell tonight. It was good, but it got me thinking. If I was captured by terrorists and given the choice of how to die, it would be this. I would ask them to dip me in a tub full of magic shell and place me in the freezer. That way when Jesus comes back, shining like the sun, destroying the anti-christ and melting everything in sight, I could have a sweet chocolatey snack on the way to getting my glorified body. Mind you, I realize that this would look a little dorky and I would be put at the back of Jesus' grand procession, probably on a unicycle with a helmet instead of a horse, but dag nabbit I'll be darn healthy. Chocolate is an anti-oxidant.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Live From Shreveport!!!!

I know you're all watching Tracie's blog for baby pictures and updates on my beautiful daugher Elia, so I thought I'd chime in and give you the random ramblings of my mind after days and days of walking the halls of Christus Schumpert St. Mary's Hospital. Yes, you got if folks, and I didn't spell that wrong!!!! This is a Catholic hospital, if that wasn't already obvious. I wanted so badly to walk up to a nun and decode the name, asking her if in English it meant "Christ Sherbert". Hey, Jesus is good and so is sherbet, so it's possible!

I saw a statue of Our Lady of Fatima. Looks kind of like Mary to me. So I thought I'd make some changes. Got the sharpest object I could find, and quickly chiseled out "Our Lady of" and replaced it with "Queen". Now it says "Queen Fatima". Found some ivy shrubbery to make a cool do for her hair, found some bling, and applied it. Queen Fatima is rockin'.


Fashion in general amuses me. But after many hours spent in hospitals over the years alot of questions have been raised in my head about hospital fashion. Take scrubs for instance. There's all kinds of scrubs. The typical green, which are the most cool. Blue scrubs which are semi-cool, royal blue that is. Comic scrubs... these are the scrubs that mostly children's nurses wear with comic characters all over them, which makes them look like the target of a drive by graffiti incident.

The scrubs that take the cake for me, however, and I had never seen before, were the brown ones. The tops are typical, but the bottoms have pockets on the sides like cargo pants, and are tapered at the bottom like something from the 80's. Keep in mind again, it's all brown, the tops and the bottoms. So for you aspiring doctors or nurses out there, beware if you deviate from the safe green or royal blue scrubs, and find yourself venturing beyond the comic graffiti scrubs, to the brown ones, no matter how good brown may look on you, that is alot of earth tone folks, and you pretty much end up looking like a walking turd.