My Mind's Inner Ramblings

Bells, Water Play, and Dancin' with Momma

2009-02-13T02:56:00.000-08:00

Glasses and Plumbers Crack

2009-02-10T03:37:00.000-08:00

Smart with Chocolate

2009-02-10T03:03:00.000-08:00

Trouble Makers

2009-02-08T05:22:00.000-08:00

Banana Babies

2009-02-08T05:13:00.000-08:00

Room For One More

2009-01-23T22:16:00.000-08:00

Tonight I'm laying in my new King Size bed that the kind folks of Nebraska Furniture Mart delivered today. Overindulgence? More out of necessity really. In a few weeks our little Ukrainian orphan, Aiden Joseph will be in our arms and most likely in our bed for awhile. Of course that means that Elia, will want to get in on the action as well, and rightfully so. I find myself still hugging the same 8 inches however, knowing that I might as well not get use to a lot of new sleeping space. I have asked Trace to lay sideways and kick me in the head a few times and elbow me real good so I get used to sleeping through the pain. I remember when Nick (our 16 year old) was all we had. He went through a phase where he would come into our room lay on the floor next to my side of the bed and make me hold his hand while he slept. Funny how that seems just like yesterday.

Anyway, it's amazing how small a queen size bed looks once you have a king. Tay has our former bed now, and looking at him in it makes me wonder how Trace and I ever managed. So if I still hold on to my 8 inches of space, I figure we can get 2 (maybe 3) little ones in here with us, which brings me to the main reason I am posting this entry tonight.

Tonight as I post this entry, my brother Derek is on his was home from Ukraine with his 3 boys. He and his wife Renee are bringing these little ones into a life that they could have never dreamed even existed. These little guys had never had solid food to eat, had never been outside of the orphanage, and have not known the consolation of human touch when they are uspset.

If you were to walk through this orphanage (the same one where Aiden is waiting for us), you would see children playing with very few toys, some boys dressed in girls clothes and vica versa; and you would most likley see cribs holding sometimes up to 11 children in just one. This just seems so outrageous to me and I can't wrap my mind around this reality, so it got me thinking a few weeks ago about trying to save just one more.

I mentioned this to Trace, and we both agreed to pray about this and if God provided the extra $4,680 we would need to bring another child home we will. Isabelle keeps having dreams about another orphan. Although we are exhausted from this whole process, this is heavy on our hearts.

Guys, I have spent most of my life over-indulging in so many things that I am ashamed of. My past struggles and addictions hold on to my belt loop with both hands digging in trying desperately not to let go. The fact of the matter is that at 39, I'm changing and the things I use to think were so important just are not- stuff like making it in music , recording an album and being in ministry or being in any kind of leadership position again. Tonight I lay on this huge bed with Elia and we laughed ourselves silly. We told each other secrets and rolled around like 2 crazy people. Tonight I did one of the few things I know in this life that actually counts. I loved my kids and I loved 'em real good.

So though my heart is heavy that I can't rescue all of the children in that Ukrainian orphanage I figure I can rescue just one more. I think Aiden knows we are coming. My mom got to hold him and play with him this week. If I know her, I am sure she whispered in his ear at some point, "Hang on little buddy your Momma and Poppa are coming for you real soon."

Please pray with us about bringing another little one home while we are in the Ukraine. The costs are significantly less to bringing home 2. Though it makes things tighter for us in this kings size bed, our home, our vehicle, as well as our wallet, the little pressure we may feel does not even compare to the pressure these little ones are experiencing. I figure if I ever make a mistake in over-indulging this is a good one to make.

Here's Derek with Aiden a few weeks ago.

Bringing Aiden Home

2008-11-17T11:21:00.000-08:00

I am writing to you to make you aware of a very urgent situation that has come up in our family. The little boy you see on this blog entry is named Aiden. Aiden is an orphan with down syndrome and a heart condition that lives in Eastern Europe. Aiden needs to be adopted into a family before he turns 4 years old or he will be institutionalized- this means he will pretty much be placed in a crib with iron bars , feed once a day and left alone. When he turns 16 he will be released into society to fend for himself. The tragic reality is that many of the orphans released when they are 16 end up being a victim of human trafficking. My wife and children and I have committed to bringing Aiden into our home and raising him as our son .

I remember the day I first saw a picture of him. I was in the prayer room and Tracie (my wife) called me in tears and told me that she had found the little boy that we were to adopt. We had adopted our daughter Elia just 19 month's earlier making her number four for us. We knew we would adopt again, but figured it would be in another year or two. Funny how things don't happen as you had planned. I rushed home and before she even pulled Aiden's picture up I knew I would be in trouble and that there would be no going back. That is exactly what happened. As soon I saw his precious little face, their was an ache in my heart for him that I can not even put into words. I have never felt so much emotion so quickly. Right then and there he was my son.

To be honest it scared me and it still does. I found myself "cutting deals" with God in my spirit. "Oh God please provide a way for us to get this little boy..." I promise I will do "this" or won't do "that" anymore etc.. The affection I have felt is both great and terrible. Great because I feel like he has been my son since he was born, and I will do anything for him. Terrible in the sense that if we somehow lose him, I don't know if I will survive. My heart is in this 150%. To be honest, I find much offense in my heart building towards God. I have found my inner man raising his fist and shouting "You did this to me, now you had better come through or I will never venture down this road again and you and I just may be done for good!" Scary huh? Sounds like someone needs to be "rooted and grounded in love " just a little more. So I'm learning to trust ..again. I have seen God come through on so many adoptions. My wife Tracie has been helping couples adopt over the last year and has seen many children placed in Christian homes, and we have seen God provide for every single one of them.

I know His heart is for this. So this big, mushy puddle of a daddy is asking friends, family and strangers to partner with us and help bring Aiden home. It's gonna cost around $20,000 - $25,000 by the time it's all said and done. God has brought in everything we have needed so far, and I am leaning into Him and trusting Him for the rest. I am now doing my part by making our need known and asking that you help us bring our son, Aiden home.

Please pass this blog along to family, friends or anyone who you think could help via prayer, financialy contributing or both.

Here is how you can donate:

PAYPAL:
1.Go to Tracie's BLOG
2.Donate through our PayPal Link (this is not tax deductible, but helps with our immediate financial obligations to the agency)

GIVE THROUGH REECES RAINBOW (this is tax deductible)
1. Go to the Reeces Rainbow Link

GIVE THROUGH OUR IHOP ACCOUNT (also tax deductible)
Checks Payable to IHOP-KC (not w/ our name anywhere on the check)
mail to:
John and Tracie Loux
12312 Askew Street
Grandview MO 64030

SUPPORT OUR FUNDRAISERS
Click Here

ADOPTION FUNDRAISER!!!!!

2008-10-21T08:02:00.000-07:00

Nick is doing a fund raiser for our adoption!
GET DETAILS HERE!

More to come!

The Naked Guy

2008-06-23T20:05:00.000-07:00

I am a processor, which basically means this... I'm not the fastest thinker on my feet. But I also save myself from getting into some weird situations due to this need to process. The following story is a true story and I'm not sure exactly if I handled it the best way I could have. Never the less, I did the best I could with what God gave me.

Friday afternoon, I was driving home down Blue Ridge Blvd. after dropping off my lawn mower to the lawn mower fix it guy for like the 19th time this summer. I approached the light at the Ruskin High School intersection which had just turned red. As I came to a stop, I noticed a very strange sight in the right hand lane. I couldn't believe it at first, but then my brain caught up with my eyes. Standing there at the red light in all his glory was a naked guy.

Now folks, I'm not talking about inappropriately dressed, I'm talking inappropriately not dressed. Not a stitch of anything on this guy, not even sandals. He just stood there at the light with his hands in the air. I figure he was either drunk, high, or on some sort of personal freedom walk. I sat there in disbelief until the light turned green and I drove on by.

It was then that my brain kicked into gear and I thought, "What would Jesus do?" At that moment, I really didn't know. Would He have been caught in the same shock I was in? Or would He have sprung to action? After I was about 50 yards past him, I concluded that Jesus would have clothed him. But then I thought, "Wait, I can't do that. Then I'd be the naked guy."
And to be honest folks, my wife doesn't need that right now, so that option was out.

Then I thought, I could give him a ride, I knew he at least didn't have a weapon. But I just couldn't get over the "ewwwww" factor and also, what I would say to my wife when I picked her up and told her that I had just given a naked guy a ride home in the very seat she was sitting in.

About a mile down the road, I noticed that I had a beach towel in the back seat. Dang it, I thought, I could have at least given him that. Just my luck, I'll get to heaven and Jesus will say, "I was the naked guy and you drove right past me. Depart from me, you shall spend eternity in Branson, Missouri playing lead guitar for K.D. Lang."

A Little Ninja Action Going Out To All You Dad's Out There

2008-06-15T20:39:00.000-07:00

Mr. Brain Storm

2008-04-24T20:55:00.000-07:00

So I'm in the process of recording guitar parts on two CD's at the moment- one with Nate Panke and the other with Dave Campbell. I was rehearsing with Dave on Tuesday along with the other members in the band- Paco, Josh Motlong, and Adam- when Dave suddenly asked me, "So, John, do you have any ideas?"

Dave often goes around the room and asks the different players what they think of the arrangements and if they have ideas or opinions.

When he asked me this, I drew a blank. Now, understand, I've been going non-stop for a couple weeks now and my brain was fried.

I simply looked at him and said without hesitation, "Dude, I have so many good ideas, I'm just not feeling released to share any of them with you."

Hey, when in doubt, blame the Holy Spirit, yo.

And the Scales Tip

2008-04-24T20:35:00.000-07:00

So we're all driving in the van on the way to Deanna Rose Farmstead. It's a beautiful Saturday, 70 degrees, blue skies- happy family time. Out of the blue my oldest son Nick who is 15 says, "Mom, is Dad ever right and you're wrong?"

I simply smiled quietly to myself and thought, "My, justice comes swiftly."

I turned to him and said, "Hmmm, you noticed that too, eh?"

Of course, these moments are very rare, and I've learned not to jump on them and ride them for all they're worth. I've learned to celebrate them quietly, as to not ruin the rest of the outing.

I Don't Know Jack, but I Still Prayed for Him

2008-04-15T18:32:00.001-07:00

While in Louisiana this past week, we drove past this realtor's sign. I quickly pulled off to the side of the road, turned off the mini-van, and we had a moment of prayer for this gentleman. He must have had a rough childhood. And that's all I'm going to say.

Scroll down please....

Momma Never Told Me There'd Be Days Like These

2008-02-20T12:44:00.000-08:00

Ok, folks, my wife and I are really sick and the kids are really healthy, so I have a little time to work on my blog in between the Ibuprophen, Tylenol, and inhaling vitamin C like it's the last crack on earth.

Very rarely have Tracie and I ever been sick at the same time. I can only remember one other time. It wouldn't be such a big deal, but we now have a very active 11 month old baby. Last night I was laying on the couch and Tracie was in the big chair. We just stared at each other and occasionally moaned. We called all the kids into the room (the three oldest). I was pretty delirious, so I'm not sure what I said, but it might have gone something like this, "If you want to go to heaven, you will do everything I say." Then ,I think I threatened them that if they didn't I would lock them in a room and make them listen to k.d. lang, which I assured them would result in extensive counseling after the fact.

Now you would think that time home with your spouse would improve relations and open up lines of communication. However when my wife spilled her coffee down the front of her shirt, the most romantic thing that came out of my mouth was, "Hey baby, if you put one more stain on that t-shirt you're wearing, I just might ask you out."

At one point, Tay asked if he could get on the computer and I yelled out, "NO, DOES THAT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH TAKING CARE OF YOUR PARENT'S NEEDS!"

I've added a few things in the sidebar. Take note of the "Best of John Loux" in the sidebar. I have posted two of the ones that make people laugh the hardest, however I am open to your nominations as well. Anything you think I should add?

Lose Your Balance and You'll Become a Psycho

2008-02-13T19:04:00.000-08:00

I went on a ministry trip to Cincinnati with my brother and about 10 students from FMA. Now I've got to tell you, I absolutely hate packing. It takes me forever, and of course I have to iron everything because what if I stay in a place that has no iron? You can't just stand up in front of a bunch of people with wrinkly clothes. For that alone, I need serious counseling. For some reason on this trip for my pajamas I packed my flannel bottoms and oddly enough my superman t-shirt.

I'm not sure why I thought that wearing a superman t-shirt, being 38 years old, among 8 other guys in their 20's would be a good idea, but apparently I didn't think that one through. It is a cool super man t-shirt, it's kind of punk, and it's not cheesy at all, but never the less it's still a super man t-shirt.

Now let me set the stage for you, folks. Prior to this trip I had played 26 sets over the past 2 weeks, that's 52 hours of live playing, not including practices. To say the least, I was burnt out. My hands were hurting me, I hated the guitar, all things musical, and quite possibly the whole prayer movement. On top of it all, I hadn't had a whole lot of blue chair time, so my heart wasn't in the best place, and I was pretty much a wreck.

But I have learned my lesson. No longer will my life be that out of balance again, I swear it. The pinnacle of this reality came one evening on the trip. We were all staying in one house. All the guys were staying in the basement sleeping in sleeping bags on the floor. I put on my super man t-shirt, my flannel bottoms (suddenly feeling like I was 12 again), got in my sleeping bag, zipped it up, and went to sleep. However, sometime between 11:30Pm and 6:00Am, I had a dream. In this dream something was chasing me. I yelled out in my sleep (no one knows exactly what I said), and then proceeded to crawl out of my sleeping bag and crawl across the basement floor at a rapid pace. I found myself awake on my hands and knees at the foot of Kurt Weaver's sleeping bag in my superman t-shirt. "Awkward!"

Luckily, nobody woke up and I quickly crawled Back to my sleeping bag the same way I had left it, and hoped that when I awoke I would realize that it was all just a dream, the year was 1983, and I was in junior high again.

MY 5150 vs. Rod Parsley's Butt

2008-02-03T20:13:00.000-08:00

Here is yet another legendary picture from the Call Ohio. Notice I have highlighted a couple of things I'd like to point out. First of all, I got to play through a Peavey 5150 Eddie Van Halen 200 watt guitar amp, which is not real visible in the photo, thus the white arrow. I'll say two things about this amp. It sounds awesome and it's stinkin' loud! The second thing I highlighted is Rod Parsley's butt.

Now let me try to set the scene for you. Eddie James was playing before us and we were watching his set in the Green Room back stage. Close to the end of his set from out of nowhere, we hear this raspy type screaming- which kind of sounded like the Wicked Witch of the West and Axel Rose going through deliverance. Much to our surprise, it was Rod Parsley and when the camera finally focused on him, he was pretty much moshing in a fashion that Henry Rollins would be proud of.

So here's the thing, we had to follow Eddie James and Rod Parsley. How the heck are ya going to do that, it's like trying to go on after Zeppelin. Nobody went on after Zeppelin. So we did the only thing one can do in a situation like this, we went Celtic. We opened up with my brother's song "Sovereign God" and then later on he busted out his penny whistles. Hey, if you can't beat 'em- clog, that's what I always say!

Anyway, when I went on stage, Rod Parsley was in the position you see him in. His butt facing my very, very loud amp. I tried giving him and "audio" warning, by throwing in a few volume swells- that's when I turn the volume of the guitar off, play a note, and then slowly bring the volume up. In this case, I was saying, "Excuse me Mr. Parsley, unless you brought a new pair of shorts, you're going to want to move."

If any of you have ever heard the song "Sovereign God", it starts off very droning and laid back and then kicks in with a massive wall of sound. Let's just say, he moved!

My Hair and 10,000 People

2008-02-03T19:35:00.001-08:00

This picture was taken by Jessica Gliserman at The Call in Cincinnati.

You'll notice 3 things.
1. There are a ton of people there.
2. That's Rod Parsley standing there pointing the microphone in front of me.
3. By the looks of my hair, it seems that I should be playing lead guitar for the "Little Rascals" rather than any worship band.
(and oh yeah, I'm very white)

Let me clarify folks. I arrived at the arena at 11AM and didn't play until 6:30PM; and not one of my friends, including my wife, told me that my hair looked like crap. My closest friends surrounded me: my family, the Bohlender's, and not even sweet Therese Engle- I thought she'd at least do that "mom" thing and lick her hand and smooth down my hair.

The sad thing about it is, I thought my hair was "rockin'" that day. It was finally getting to the length that I had had it a year or so before that I really liked- back then I was getting comments like, "Hey, you look like Keith Urban . " (of course back then I was tanning and working out)

Upon confronting my wife with this picture, she proceeded to tell me, "Honey, you have really thin hair and you're a tall, skinny man. When you have hair like that it only stays in place for like 30 minutes and then it flies all over the place."

My concern is, what else isn't she telling me? Like for instance:

"Oh yeah honey, I've been meaning to tell you, for the last two years, you've been walking around with your fly down."
OR
"Hey you should've kept tanning, because you have freakishly, white pasty skin, and when you stand in front of 10,000 people with 200 lights blazing on you, it's a wonder anybody can focus. You've got that whole Goth thing going without any make up!"

After her comment about my hair, I have gotten it cut- quite short. Of course the only problem now, being a tall, skinny man with white pasty skin and thinning hair, is my increasingly large, shinny forehead.

USA BANK ARENA: Cincinnati Ohio

2008-01-20T17:06:00.001-08:00

Last month I had the privilege of playing at The Call with my brother at the USA Bank Arena in Cincinnati, Ohio. As we were unloading late at night, we walked down the hall that was a gallery of all the famous people that had played there: Billy Joel, Springsteen, Aerosmith, and as you can see in this picture, Sting and of course, me. Hey, there was an empty space next to him, I couldn't help myself. When else am I going to get this chance again, I'm 38.

As you can see Sting has his hand raised, I believe he is saying, "Righteous solo, dude."

I'm on to something ... or so I thought

2007-12-20T11:18:00.000-08:00

I have been studying Revelation 6:17 and chapter 7, so I emailed my favorite end times expert KELSEY B to get her perspective on a few things.

Here's part of her response:
"It's interesting -- the KJV and NKJV say "His wrath", NASB and NIV say, "their wrath". When I look up the meaning of that word, it is typically singular, although can be plural (like "they", "themselves", etc.) Great thoughts on it though!.......

Kelsey

(So basically, Mrs. B was saying, "Nice try homeboy, you need to upgrade whatever version you're reading," In short, the little golden nugget I thought I had found was skewed a tad by the translation I was using.)

I RESPONDED WITH THE FOLLOWING:

Kelsey,

Yeah I figured maybe it was a translation issue on my part. I have the “JESUS LOVES ME PICTURE BIBLE” so it might not be a great translation for everything.
It’s a paraphrase, so pretty much the book of Revelation is summed up into the following one sentence with a picture of the world on fire... “It’s gonna suck, so get your crap together, but don’t worry, eventually it will pan out in the end ... hopefully. Oh yeah, and don’t change anything in this book or else it won’t, at least for you anyway “

John

Ed and the Age to Come

2007-11-21T18:21:00.001-08:00

I went to pick up the kids from school today. I pulled into my parking spot, got out of the car, yelled for them to get in the car, got the kids loaded up, and started backing out, when I heard my oldest son Nick say, "Dad, stop you're gonna hit Ed."

I put on the brakes, looked through the rear window to see Ed Hackett walking his daughter to his car, completely unaware that he could have been tagged by a Subaru.

My son yelled out, "Dad, you can't hit Ed Hackett. If you hit Ed Hackett, you'll really end up low on the totem pole in the Millenial Kingdom. You think your ice cream truck job would be really bad, if you hit Ed Hackett, you'll end up shoveling holy horse poop for a thousand years!"

Now for those of you that don't know Ed, let me try to describe him by giving you this analogy. If the Lord himself came down and visited me in a dream, and said, "Son, you've kind of been an idiot most of your life, but I'm going to extend grace to you one more time. I'm going allow you to morph into anyone you want to. Choose wisely. You will take on their characteristics and live as they would."

Without hesitation folks, Ed Hackett would be in my top 5, possibly even my top 2. Simply said, Ed is one of the most kind, caring, compassionate, Holy Spirit filled, Christ-like people on the planet. He's one of those people you look at and say "I'm not sure if I'm one of God's favorite, but I'm pretty sure Ed is one of God's favorite."

Anyway, I'm glad my son got my attention today. I could just picture myself years from now shoveling horse poo poo and a big ole' angel comes up to me and says, "What did you do to deserve that?"

"I hit Ed Hackett with my Subaru."

Random Things People Have Said to Me This Week

2007-11-15T19:14:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had someone you know say something to you to encourage you or show that they care, but it ends up coming out all wrong?

Here are some random quotes from this week:

1. "Hey John, How are ya? Have you lost weight? You look skinnier than normal." (to some of you that might be a compliment, but to a guy who has tried to bulk up all his life and get away from the whole Anorexic Gandhi vibe, it wasn't a huge confidence boost.)

2. This one came after I had just finished playing a set. "Hey, I really like what you play on the guitar. Well actually, what I meant to say was 'I like your moves', you move like a famous 70's rock star. Your guitar playing is good though."

I've actually gotten the "moves" compliment before. Someone told me once "Man you were just up there rockin'. You look just like John Mellencamp. That was cool, 'cause I like Mellencamp, but a 70's rock star??? All I could picture was Styx in glam band spandex.

Leave it to Squirrely

2007-11-15T18:52:00.000-08:00

This past Tuesday was a beautiful, warm Autumn day. I was driving on the back roads behind the Prayer Room, making my way to Grandview Road with the windows down. It was a picture perfect day. The sun was shining through the brilliant colors in the trees. A warm breeze was blowing. It couldn't get any better than that.

As I was driving, I saw two squirrels playing in the road up ahead. They too were enjoying this incredible day. All I can tell you is that it was like a Disney movie, everything was brilliant in color and in slow motion. The squirrels seemed to be part of some new wonderful talking-animal kids movie. You know the kind that just sucks you in, where the girl dog comes running over the hills with a bow in her hair, ears flopping, and the boy dog sees the girl dog and does a double take, runs toward her, drooling out the side of his mouth, and they both spend the afternoon running through a field of daisies.

The squirrels just seemed to be dancing in mid air. I was totally mesmerized. So mesmerized in fact that I ran them over. I'm not kidding!

I've never been in a car, whether driving or riding where a squirrel was run over. Every single time, even though they seem to wait until the last second, they always, always, always get out of the way! Not this time. I was shocked and horrified at the sound of the thud. I looked in my rear view mirror to see that I had totally wiped out not one, but two squirrel lovers, who were not dancing, but mating in the middle of 113th Street.

But hey, at least they died happy.

My Job In the Millenium

2007-10-30T16:57:00.000-07:00

Two Sunday's ago, Hal Lindhart spoke on "The Truth". One of the prayers that he prays is "God, keep me from delusional thinking and all false assurance." It was good stuff!

But it got me thinking of something that happened just a week before. I woke up and went to my 6AM set, and to be honest with you, I was in a foul mood. I was having one of those "tell everybody what you think" conversations in my head all morning. I truly felt like a beast before God. Funny thing however, an hour later, I'm feeling Jesus, I'm happy, I feel connected, I love everyone. What was the difference? Coffee, folks. One stupid cup of coffee. When I realized this, while pacing quite briskly I might add, I practically said out loud, "Oh great the little 'yes' in my spirit towards God is actually caffeine induced, that's just terrific!"

Yeah, sure Jesus, I love you, with a little help from Starbucks. So what if this is really true? The only scenario I can think of is that I will most definitely be one escaping through the flames if I keep this up. Imagine with me if you will... this conversation with the Lord as I am entering the New Jerusalem.

John- "Hi Jesus!"
Jesus- "Hi Son, you smell like smoke."
John- "I just escaped the flames didn't I."
Jesus- "Ummmm, Yeah"
John- "It was the caffeine wasn't it?"
Jesus- "Yeah, pretty much."
John- "So where do we go from here?"
Jesus- "Well I have a little something for you."
John- "Oh really, like being the lead guitar player in the celestial city? Do I get a flying V guitar? This is going to be just great!"
Jesus- "No no quite"
John- "Well what's my assignment then?"
Jesus- "You see that truck over there?"
John- "Yeah, the one that says 'Heavenly Hash' on it. You mean I'm driving an ice cream truck in the New Jerusalem?"
Jesus- "No, not exactly, you're going to be driving it OUTSIDE the New Jerusalem."
John- "Well isn't that a little dangerous, seeing that the nations are going to rage against you sometime soon?"
Jesus- "Yep, could be!"
John- "So when the nations gather, what do I do?"
Jesus- "Drive real fast."
John- "Will somebody let me in the gates of the city?"
Jesus- "Just drive around to the side, there's a delivery gate, someone will let you in there."
John- "Well how do I know someone's going to be there to let me in?"
Jesus- "Oh, they'll be someone there. The same ones are there taking deliveries every day."
John- "Well who are they?"
Jesus- "Bill Cosby, Robert Schuller, and possibly the guys from Stryper."
John- "Well does somebody ride in the truck with me?"
Jesus- "Oh yeah, I've got somebody assigned to you."
John- "Well who is it?"
Jesus- "Raffi"
John- "You mean the guy who sings little kids songs?"
Jesus- "Yep that's the one."
John- "Well what did he do to get this job?"
Jesus- "Well the little 'yes' that was in his spirit, was mostly induced by pot. The 60's weren't real kind to him."
John- "Oh great, so I'm going to have a disgruntled employee with the munchies, singing silly songs about a whale called "Baby Baluga" working for me."
Jesus- "Oh no, he's quite excited. Once he saw the truck, he hasn't stopped beaming."
John- "Well I'd be beaming too if I smoked pot my whole life, ended up in heaven, only to be driving around a truck that says 'Heavenly Hash' on the outside. You didn't tell him it was ice cream did you?"
Jesus- "Ummm, nope, gonna leave that up to you!"

So Folks, I need to make some changes, I don't want to live this dream, really I don't!

LiLi the Luchador

2007-10-28T19:15:00.001-07:00

Now, it's no secret, we IHOP'ers don't celebrate Halloween, but should we get invited to a sweet "Hallelujah Party," Elia is going as Nacho Libre!
"Sometimes Choncho, when you are a baby, you wear stretchy pants... just for fun."

Support Raising at the 6AM's

2007-10-20T18:49:00.001-07:00

So I'm sitting in the Prayer Room during a 6AM intercession set. In almost every Mon-Fri 6AM set, we pray for God to break-in in the marketplace. Many people working in the marketplace in Kansas City come to that set before they leave for work.

Now in this particular set, I was in the back of the room receiving ministry from the Healing Teams (I blew my wrist out playing too much this summer). Anyway, I was being soaked in prayer, listening to Marcus and Tim do what they do so well, and just receiving from the Lord when someone stood up at the mic to pray for the Marketplace people.

He said, and I quote, "Would everyone with jobs please stand up and move to the aisles."

I figured that the rest of us without jobs, were supposed to pray for these people with jobs, so I quietly walked up to one of the gentleman standing and said, "Hi, I'm an intercessory missionary, I don't have a job, but I couldn't help but notice that you do, would you consider supporting me $10.00 a month.... I'll pray for you!"

Shock and Awe

2007-10-20T18:03:00.000-07:00

I'm not an argumentative person. In a group of people where there are many strong personalities, I tend to be the one who is quiet and introspective. I have found myself sitting in the middle of many heated discussions over the years, and have wondered how someone like myself can ever come out on top.

But I've figured out a way.

Occasionally, not often, but occasionally in a briefing or debriefing session before or after one of my sets in the prayer room, a subject will arise that causes controversy to some extent. Most debates are over minor stuff like the mechanics of the harp and bowl model, but some are over what we'll call the "grey areas". You know those things that one person might have the liberty to do in Christ, but the other person feels like is wrong, and the Bible doesn't make it really clear.

Most of the time when these discussions occur, I quietly wait for the half hour to tick by, and then leave saying nothing while everyone else is vibrating like they've had 16 shots of espresso! But alas, my melancholy friends out there, I have found a way to silence the great debaters, it's called "Shock and Awe". The next time I find myself in an IHOP debate, I'm going to wait for that well-known 20 second pause of silence, and I'm going to stand up and say the following:

"Well, at least we're not going to be here for the tribulation. Anybody wanna go get a beer? I just got the new Ozzie CD, you guys can ride with me and we can listen to it on the way, but first we have to stop by CVS, my wife just left me a message, her birth control prescription is in."

Then I will majestically walk out of the briefing room, possibly skipping and most certainly in silence. Yes, a hush will fall over the crowd. I will turn around and say, "Thank you very much Kansas City, I love you, good night."

You see folks, the key is shock and awe. Cram as much controversy as you can into one brief statement, so much controversy that no one knows what to rebut, and then make your exit.

HERO NEEDED

2007-10-02T18:07:00.001-07:00

I have a friend who is looking to marry an IHOP'er in order to get her green card. She's not beautiful, but she's sturdy, and she has a good heart. Her name is Regina Bohlendorfer.

Regina enjoys making beer, log rolling, and pillaging small villages on the weekends. She has a side business of making burlap undergarments. She enjoys long, quiet evenings in small, damp huts listening to Enya.

Regina is a widow recently recovering from the death of her husband, some guy named Thor, apparently someone used his hammer on him. She needs a hero....and he's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast, and he's gotta be fresh from the fight!

You can view Regina's complete profile at www.vikingbrides.com

2007-08-24T14:32:00.000-07:00

This past June, 21 of us from the Children's Equipping Center at IHOP traveled to Colorado in 2, 12 passenger vans to do a Signs and Wonders Camp. While driving in Colorado, we spotted the above sign that said, "POINT OF INTEREST", so we decided to stop and check out the "so called" attraction. The picture below is the fascinating museum that we found, as the "POINT OF INTEREST".

Notice, the hand-painted sign that says "SEE 6 STATES". This museum claimed that if you climbed its tower you could see 6 states from this one spot. I climbed the tower, it cost me $1.00. I looked. I saw. I was pretty high off the ground and to be honest, I have no idea if I actually saw 6 states. Apparently someone erased the squiggly lines that designate the state boundaries- where one state ends and one state begins on my map.

The real interesting thing about this museum was all of the ancient western artifacts and collectibles that this old guy had. There were old bottles, arrow heads, cars, books, "artwork", dishes, clothing... it was like the Ingalls family had a yard sale and this guy bought it all! Among the artifacts were also some really freaky stuff like albino snakes or pig embryos in jars of formaldehyde. But the freakiest of them all, was the two headed calf pictured below, along with a copy of one of my favorite books!

I can think of no better picture to promote unity and world peace than this! Eat your heart out Al Gore. Everyone has a place in this world folks, even my friend Brad the Two-Headed Calf.

Dear Randy,

2007-08-10T19:47:00.000-07:00

Please come home from vacation soon. Since you've been gone, the Prayer Room has been remodeled. Again. The stage is now all white. Completely white. So white in fact that if you gave it another go as one of Marcus' backup singers, we'd only see your shirt, that is, as long as you weren't wearing a white shirt. I hope Eddie James is the new "Misty", cause he's the only one that's gonna look good on stage. Only this would mean that now Eddie is Jesus' favorite and not Misty, but only because Jesus can't see Misty on the webcast. One thing's for sure, when the rock falls through the roof, and lands on the stage, we'll know it. Hopefully it won't land on any white people cause we won't know who died.

The new drum cage is pretty cool. Or should I say "drum condo". Yes it's as big as a house. So big in fact, UPS delivers. And I think I saw someone deliver a casserole to Joel Sorge during a set!

Oh, yeah Lou just pulled into town and him and Mike are planning world domination. This is like watching a game of "Spiritual Risk" and we're the very coveted Australia.

Love,
Your Friend, John

Angels Among Us

2007-06-01T19:35:00.001-07:00

5 days into the fast, Randy morphs into an angel while the rest of us are struggling not to break into a serious case of Tourretts due to all the Krispy Kreme's were denying ourself. Don't get me wrong. This is totally worth it. We want God to break in, but all I can think of is if after 5 days, Randy is an angel; he's going to be a glimmering white beam of light by the end of 40.

This Offends Me and I'm A Guy!

2007-05-26T21:27:00.000-07:00

Ladies, would you actually buy a dress in a store called "The Dress Barn?" I find the name of this store very offensive, and I'm a guy. To me associating the word "barn" with anything to do with the female gender is walking on dangerous ground. For example, saying things like "Gee honey, you know I love you, even though you're as big as a barn", or something like "Of course I can hit you from here, you're as big as a barn". Or how about, "Honey, what a lovely new fragrance, what's it called 'Essence of Barn'?" Or "Wow, you got really embarrassed when I said that, you were as red as a barn!" See what I mean?

What do the dresses look like anyway? All I can see are very large floral printed dresses with poofy sleeves, or how about some sweet one piece denim home-school mom jumpers! If they had an athletic department, I'm seeing polyester culottes, talk about spontaneous combustion!
And nightgowns? Lots of baggy flannel folks!

So guys, if you're looking for a dress for you wife, bringing one home in a box labeled "The Dress Barn", may not improve your marriage!

MOM THIS IS JUST FOR YOU! p.s. i love you dad!

2007-05-26T20:57:00.000-07:00

This is my Dad, he calls himself the "Gospel Whistler" ... I'm not kidding either. The man can whistle any gospel tune you throw at him. Holidays are very interesting! Granted it sounds very similar to a cockatiel on LSD.

This is my Dad getting his game face on, right before he raced Quasi Modo to the top of the bell tower.

Guess who won?

Air Traffic Control

2007-05-26T20:24:00.000-07:00

It seems since 911 that airports are getting more particular about what you can take on an airplane. Above is a glass display case full of items that you cannot take on an airplane flying out of the Kansas City Airport, please look them over carefully. Of course I was completely blind sided by these specific policies, and was quite ticked when I had to leave my chainsaw and blow torch with security. What happened to the good old days when you could safely stow your chainsaw under your seat and your blow torch in the overhead compartment? Of course, I know the real reason for these new policies, and it's not terrorism, folks. The fact of the matter is the pretzels and peanuts aren't free anymore! I've had two friends recently fly the friendly skies, and if they wanted the previously free snack items they had to pay for them. If some flight attendant told me that I had to pay a dollar for a stale bag of pretzels or annoyingly, over-salted peanuts; and I actually had a chain saw under my seat, you better believe I'd whip it out and demand a donut!

In all seriousness, do you really have to tell people not to bring these items, and what about all the things they left out... like a yak. "Sir, you're going to have to leave your yak behind" ... or a canoe. How about the all to common wood chipper! It would be much easier if they just showed you what you can take on. The glass case would simply include a fully clothed mannequin holding a magazine. There isn't that so much less confusing!

IF YOU KNEW

2007-05-25T16:05:00.000-07:00

That JOHN LOUX had at least one, perhaps multiple, bloggable photos just sitting in iPhoto waiting for the boy to simply sit down and write his "MIND'S INNER RAMBLINGS" about said images, what would you do?

I for one might just hand cuff him to the dining room table til he BLOGS ALREADY!!
From, The Wife

Farewell From Shreveport

2007-03-17T19:26:00.000-07:00

Folks there's a good chance that this is the last post I'll be blogging here from Shreveport. Just a few southern establishments we drove by on our stay that I wanted to share with you in closing. Most of them speak for themselves. Adios!

Cajun Daiquiris

2007-03-17T19:22:00.000-07:00

Just look at the picture folks. Ya'll are pretty smart, you put two and two together. I'm still in shock and awe. A drive-thru Daiquiri stand? Bad day at work? Slip on by "Cajun Daiquiris" and enjoy a little drunk driving on the way home while you forget the rest of your day. I've seen it all now!

Pie Works

2007-03-17T19:16:00.000-07:00

I was all excited when I saw this restaurant called "Pie Works". We were all ready to pull in for some good 'ole southern pie when we noticed the neon "Coors Light", "Bud Light" and various other cheap brews featured in the window display. Pie and Coffee, yes! Pie and Ice Cream, absolutely! But Pie and Beer, there just isn't enough red neck in me to go there!

Laundry Basket Tavern

2007-03-17T19:08:00.000-07:00

Tracie and I actually did some laundry at this place called "The Laundry Basket". As an added benefit to its customers, the "Laundry Basket" has an adjacent room called "The Laundry Basket Tavern" which features a bar as well as gambling machines. So quite possibly, you can go in, throw your clothes in the wash, get drunk, loose all your money, and not have enough money to dry your clothes, all within an hour or less!

Psychic Yard Sale

2007-03-17T18:55:00.000-07:00

Notice this particular Psychic is having a yard sale, which leaves one to wonder, "What does a Psychic sell at a yard sale?" Old readings? Other peoples readings? Totally useless facts that you already know? Semi-chipped crystal balls? Faded Tarot Cards? Chicken bones?

Round 'Em Up 'Lil Guys

2007-03-16T21:24:00.000-07:00

During our stay in Louisiana, one of the coolest things I've gotten to do was to attend a midget rodeo. It was quite exhilarating!

News Alert: CPR Manneqin Babies Gone Wild

2007-03-15T21:18:00.000-07:00

It's the saddest thing I've seen folks. Tonight Tracie and I wandered into a back room of the NICU at Christus Schumptus St. Mary's Hospital. Apparently we stumbled onto the aftermath of a wild party thrown by the CPR Mannequin Babies, Reggie and Jeffey. Formula cans strewn all over the floor, lullabies blaring. One of them peed on the TV, thus no picture. But the worst of it, was something one of them had written on the wall with a big fat Crayola crayon. It read, "For some good breast milk call 1-800-MY-MOM."

Hi Jesus!

2007-03-14T21:32:00.000-07:00

How to Win Friends and Influence the Lost

2007-03-14T21:22:00.000-07:00

Trac and I were driving behind a car today and saw this license plate. In case you can't read it, it says, "Got Christ? It's HELL without HIM."

All I've got to say is, Crap Dang and Heck Fire it's southern evangelism at its best!

Don't come any closer folks, I just ate a bean burrito!

2007-03-14T21:14:00.000-07:00

Baby Products

2007-03-13T21:26:00.000-07:00

NOTE TO SELF: Do not mistake this for toothpaste at 4:30AM when getting ready for the 6AM set.

"The Confession Booths" - '07 WORLD TOUR

2007-03-12T21:14:00.000-07:00

This is my new band. Gary on the left is an amazing drummer. While Shawn on the right lays down the funky bass lines with a sweet, tasty groove. Me, I sing lead vocals and play shredding guitar.

Hospital Art

2007-03-11T21:36:00.000-07:00

Walking into Christus Schumpert St. Mary's Hospital yesterday, this painting caught my eye. Mostly because, when walking past this quickly, you really feel like Jesus is waving to you. Not realizing that it was a painting at first, I waved back and said, "Hi Jesus"! I quickly snapped out of it and realized it was a piece of hospital art. Upon close inspection, I saw that this is the story of the men that lowered the lame man through the roof.... of their very Mexican looking hacienda. I mean, come on people, if you're going to paint a Biblical story let's at least get the shingles right. It was probably straw or mud, and not something Zorro could run across!

One more thing, and why does Jesus look like Eric Clapton?

Magic Shell

2007-03-11T21:27:00.000-07:00

I had a brownie sundae covered in magic shell tonight. It was good, but it got me thinking. If I was captured by terrorists and given the choice of how to die, it would be this. I would ask them to dip me in a tub full of magic shell and place me in the freezer. That way when Jesus comes back, shining like the sun, destroying the anti-christ and melting everything in sight, I could have a sweet chocolatey snack on the way to getting my glorified body. Mind you, I realize that this would look a little dorky and I would be put at the back of Jesus' grand procession, probably on a unicycle with a helmet instead of a horse, but dag nabbit I'll be darn healthy. Chocolate is an anti-oxidant.

Live From Shreveport!!!!

2007-03-10T17:44:00.000-08:00

I know you're all watching Tracie's blog for baby pictures and updates on my beautiful daugher Elia, so I thought I'd chime in and give you the random ramblings of my mind after days and days of walking the halls of Christus Schumpert St. Mary's Hospital. Yes, you got if folks, and I didn't spell that wrong!!!! This is a Catholic hospital, if that wasn't already obvious. I wanted so badly to walk up to a nun and decode the name, asking her if in English it meant "Christ Sherbert". Hey, Jesus is good and so is sherbet, so it's possible!

I saw a statue of Our Lady of Fatima. Looks kind of like Mary to me. So I thought I'd make some changes. Got the sharpest object I could find, and quickly chiseled out "Our Lady of" and replaced it with "Queen". Now it says "Queen Fatima". Found some ivy shrubbery to make a cool do for her hair, found some bling, and applied it. Queen Fatima is rockin'.

HOSPITAL FASHION

Fashion in general amuses me. But after many hours spent in hospitals over the years alot of questions have been raised in my head about hospital fashion. Take scrubs for instance. There's all kinds of scrubs. The typical green, which are the most cool. Blue scrubs which are semi-cool, royal blue that is. Comic scrubs... these are the scrubs that mostly children's nurses wear with comic characters all over them, which makes them look like the target of a drive by graffiti incident.

The scrubs that take the cake for me, however, and I had never seen before, were the brown ones. The tops are typical, but the bottoms have pockets on the sides like cargo pants, and are tapered at the bottom like something from the 80's. Keep in mind again, it's all brown, the tops and the bottoms. So for you aspiring doctors or nurses out there, beware if you deviate from the safe green or royal blue scrubs, and find yourself venturing beyond the comic graffiti scrubs, to the brown ones, no matter how good brown may look on you, that is alot of earth tone folks, and you pretty much end up looking like a walking turd.

I'm Ready For Ya Now GBF!

2007-02-21T18:01:00.000-08:00

Ok, most of you who know me know I am a skinny guy, thus GBF week can really do a number on me. I have to actually work at gaining weight so when that 3 day little monster sneaks up on me, well he can pretty much snap me likebaby carrot. I did however have a Holy Spirit encounter last GBF!

I was wearing an already loose pair of jeans on day 3, when I heard the spirit speaking."Go into one of the side rooms, pull your pants up higher and tighten your belt."

I ignored it. Hey, I was pacing and praying and I ain't got no time to tighten no stinkin' belt, and make myself look more white than I already am! Geez! I did however noticed my pants where riding lower than I had realized, but then again, I had not been eating for 3 days so I was all but seeing blue fairies by this point.

He spoke again, "Look John, if you don't want to listen to me that's your choice, but if while you are pacing, your pants fall down around your ankles and you trip and fall in front of God TV and everyone, well you can't say I did not warn you".

I repented, hocked 'em up and tightened the old belt. I looked like a red neck farmer going to a George Strait concert in a new pair of Wranglers! So why did I listen this time to the still small voice? Because of a young lady, I'll call Debbie, to protect her identity. I really don't know Debbie, but she seems really cool. What I do know is that one day on the mic instead of singing "My heart will sing your praise" she accidentally sang, "My fart will sing your praise" or something like that. As you could imagine, that baby was posted on the briefing room white boards so all could enjoy, at Debbie's expense might I add. She must be a good sport.

So anyway, when the Holy Spirit told me to pull 'em up, I immediately realized if I didn't and they did fall down; I would be #1 and Debbie would be #2 on the all time IHOP bloopers reel. It would be very hard to de-throne me after that one so I decided to let Debbie keep her title for now.

Hijacked!!!

2007-02-17T12:11:00.000-08:00

Ok, I've hijacked John's blog!

It's me Tracie, the wife!

Here's the deal, if you think it's been way too long since JOHN LOUX has blogged, and you think he should be doing it way more often, COMMENT NOW, and give him some motivation to blog!

I'll go first:
Reason #1: JOHN LOUX, you are the funniest man I know, make us laugh please.
Reason #2: JOHN LOUX, you are one of the deepest thinkers I know, we want to know what you're thinking.

Between Me, You, and the Fencepost

2007-01-21T19:01:00.000-08:00

There are days when you think you're getting older, and then there are days you know you're getting older. Recently I've had some of those days. Most of the time, those realities come by means of someone in their twenties stating the date in which they were born, a date which I can remember very vividly. However, I've reached another plateau... Just the other day I was standing in our new house, which room I can't remember... another reason why I am getting older... anyway, I was standing there and I drooled. That's right folks, I just randomly drooled, long stringy drool and for no reason. This has never happened to me before, but I feel like I recovered quite well. Just another sign post on the road of life I supposed. I just quickly wiped my chin and whatever flat surface was directly below it, and moved on. I think I was in shock, because I didn't mention it to anyone for quite some time.

Tonight in the briefing room, after my 6-8PM set, granted I play the 4-6PM as well, so I had been playing for quite some time, my nose began to run. The problem was, I had no clue that it was running until my good friends Sam Gallegos and Michael Tharpe caught my attention by saying "Hey bro!" and then motioned their hand toward their nose thus indicating my dilemma. This was no flaky booger, some hardened, dry, easily-swiped-away nugget, NOPE. This was string cheeze. And I was clueless.

So folks, tonight I sit in my bed and the only thing that sounds good to me is pudding or Jello. I suddenly want to wear a bathrobe and slippers and yell angry rants out the front door at the neighborhood dogs and children passing by. I want to watch cable TV, but I don't have cable. A couple episodes of "Archie Bunker" might be nice right now. I'm thinking about pricing Rosco's, you know those little scooters for old people with the big cup holders on the side. Maybe I'll get an '01 stenciled on the side of it.

Thoughts on the New Prayer Room

2007-01-05T17:07:00.000-08:00

Ok so we have a whole new look now. Was it as much of a shocker to you as it was to me? I am digging the new changes, but for some reason I was surprised. Not sure why cause I knew about the whole “God TV” thing, so once I connected the dots it totally made sense to me. I know a lot of people were upset at first. Some so upset that they could have blown the head off a Malibu Barbie from 20 miles away. My first 2 initial thoughts were.. “Wow this is cooler than most clubs I have played in” and “ Holy cow it looks like the interior decorator for the 'Seeker Friendly Church’s of America' just went nuts with a Visa card!" I was truly impressed with the effort towards coolness though. I only have issue with 2 things. #1 – Chelsey Huff cannot sit in the singer 4 position behind the other singers. Why? She is not done growing yet, that’s why! You can’t have one of the coolest sounding voices ever and not be seen! Plus, she’s just way to darn cute, and when people put the face with the voice, IHOP support has to go up, I mean come on! I am starting a “Free Thumbelina Campaign”! T-Shirts are coming soon. #2 The stage/ set up on the web cast looks a tad like the Late Night Show with Conan or something. That’s not bad per se but I keep waiting for a comedian to come on in between sets. I’ll get over it. Not sure if it’s saying “prophetic worship” yet, but it rocks nonetheless. Change is good and it’s good to be a part of it. Through it, all the people remain the same. Sure, we will have to get used to it not feeling like a performance with all the glam and lights but that’s ok. It will be good to work through it and have still have tender hearts when the camera’s roll. It’s good for our identities to be challenged, whether in secret or in the great wide open. Whatever color the paint is on the outside, these people are the best; and I still want to live and die right along side of them.

My new picture !

2007-01-04T20:40:00.003-08:00

Well it’s been awhile since I have blogged so I guess I fall into the slacker category in blog world. Notice I now have a new picture! I wanted a bigger headshot so I found this sweet pouty rock’n roll picture. Cool huh? I picked this one cause I knew Josh Motlong would dig it since he has all the sweet rock star moves down. How do I know? I spent several hours with him auditioning potential FMA students and I saw him at his best, my friends! If it were not for Josh making me laugh, I would have quite possibly killed myself with thumb tacs.
Anyway, the real kicker was trying to get this stinkin thing to post! It only took us like an hour to get it to work. It was taken from a photo shoot which occurred during the filming of my first and only music video that is currently not available anywhere, including Japan. My friend Wade did the video for free since he was starting a video production company and needed some more work for his portfolio. The video was from the song “Perfect” which is on the IHOP “Take My Breath Away” CD, which is also currently not available in Japan and possibly only available on the discount racks in the IHOP bookstore.
We shot it in a 100-year-old colonial house. I don’t know who the “Colonials” were, but holy cow they sure do cool things with brick! ☺ Anyway I will post the video at some point but it could take me about 2 months since it took me 2 hrs to get this picture in.

What IHOP kids do

2006-12-23T20:15:00.000-08:00

Our trip home from PA last week seemed to take forever. Keep in mind it's about a 20 hr trip by car so keeping oneself amused can be a challenge, especially for the kids. This trip however it was I who was bored to tears driving hour after hour. I had not brought much music to listen to, and what's worse is that I also failed to bring any teaching CD's as well. I don't know where my head was when I was packing. Anyway, the kids did quite well at keeping themselves busy. All of them got a pocket electronic games for Christmas from their aunt. Good stuff like Yatzee etc... As a matter of fact Mrs. Loux played Yahtzee all the way home and became quite addicted. It cracked me up to see my 38 year old girl in her black hooded sweatshirt, punky red hair, funky jeans and Converse All Star sneakers totally hooked for hours on a video game. It was almost like I was the only adult or something.. I heard her say several times " Hey quiet down mommies trying to break 350!"That was entertaining for awhile, just watching Tracie's relapse into teen mania, when I heard my daughter Isabelle and my niece Sophia in the back seat playing a "different kind of game". I was driving and just zoning out to whatever it was that I had in the van to listen to when I heard one of them say " I spy with my spiritual eye".... Yeah you know the car game "I spy with my little eye" and then you say like the color of the thing you see and everyone else in the car try's to guess what you saw? Well apparently being at IHOP impacted my kids a little more than what I first had imagined. This version of the game had a whole new twist ! The conversation in the back seat continued " I see you in a few years with grey hair and 4 kids and ...." The conversation stopped. Mom suddenly snapped out of her Yatzee world series, as she heard what was going on in the "seuthsayers convention" in the back seat. "And what?" I said. "You're gonna have grey hair and 4 kids and what, live in a trailor married to a guy named Rusty?" I wanted to know, I mean I am an intercesorry missionary and seeing that they are only 9 years old, there is still time to reverse the curse! My rebellious Yatzee woman put an end to the fortune telling, but out of it came a great business idea.. "Prophetic car games for IHOP kids". Lenny's gonna love this.

December 13th: The Coffee Man

2006-12-13T10:07:00.002-08:00

They say you can learn something from everyone, even people ya don't even know. That said, there used to be a man who walked by our house in PA everyday with a big gigantic "to go coffee mug". He was a happy guy who lived outside of town and would walk in everyday to the local shop to get his fix and his exercise. We would wave at him, and the mysterious stranger would smile and wave back. This happened every day for the 5 years we lived in downtown Mansfield. Of course, we moved to KC and have not seen him in 7 months.
Today, we were driving through our old neighborhood reminiscing with the family, when we passed him walking into town for another fix! We smiled and waved to each other like old friends. It made me feel good, and somehow strangely complete. I just wish I was as consistent as the coffee man. Amen, let's stand.

December 12th: Grace That is Greater

2006-12-13T10:07:00.001-08:00

This week we have traveled back to PA to visit Tracie's family.
For some reason I did not have it in my head that we would be returning so soon to visit our former home. Seems like yesterday we just left, and it was quite a whirlwind we departed in. Though I was looking forward to seeing family, that is the only reason I was coming back to the area so soon. This had been my training ground, and this is the place where my biggest battles had been lost. Some won, but those seem so few in comparison. It's the really bad stuff that makes you suddenly breath deep, regretful sighs at the thoughts of what you have done. Those memories that haunt and plague you, even though forgiveness has been given. The voices scream "you are weak, you have no integrity, you are not really a man. Consequences from mistakes of yesterday surround you, like a pack of wild dogs surrounding a lone cowboy's campfire, waiting to devour you. Feels like there is no escape sometimes.
My only hope right now comes from a song that my grandfather use to sing in church. He was a man of integrity, a man of quiet humility. When he died, we sang this song at his funeral and the words go something like this.. "Grace, grace, God's grace, grace that has pardoned and cleansed within. Grace, grace God's grace, grace that is greater than all my sin."

December 10th: No one ever say's "When I grow up I wanna be a Shriner!" ...

2006-12-13T10:03:00.000-08:00

Just this past Saturday, I sat in the Ararat Shriners Temple listening to a seminar on how to buy a home. I had to. The guy next to me had been smoking a significant amount of weed right before joining the rest of us, who were required to sit through the whole drama. Doing so meant we all would receive 100 percent financing on a future home purchase at a 6% fixed interest rate. Yeah, it's a good deal, so now ya know why we went. Anyway, I nominated my pot smoking friend as the new potentate of the Shriner's temple. The little old men in their red thimble looking hats with the oversized, hanging tassels did not seem amused. I gave my hat back and left quietly, my dreams dashed.

Snowplow Man

2006-11-27T17:26:00.000-08:00

I was sitting in the IHOP staff meeting today totally convinced that the 2 hr extraveganza could be cut down at least in half, maybe even to 20 min. Anyway, they were recruiting volunteers for snow removal this winter. It was then that I decided to become snowplow man. I will get one of those plaid flannel caps with the ears that flip down. I will get a shirt with my name on it and I will wear it proudly under one of those long Russian winter coats with the racoon fur necks. I will wear black rubber barn boots cause they are more comfortable than wearing just your underwear and dark socks. I will go out late at night and plow people into their homes forcing them to take the day off and spend it with each other. I will have a villianish laugh as I pull away from an unplowed house yelling " Try to get your 50 hrs in now IHOP'ers ! HAAAA AAA HAA HAAAAAAA!" Goodbye intercessory missionary, goodbye guitar instructor- whatever the heck I am. I have a new lease on life......

Can You Really See Me?

2006-11-26T20:31:00.000-08:00

My wife and I have discovered instant messaging just in the last couple of months. I knew it existed, but could not wrap my brain around how this could even work and what was it that made it different than email. Quite frankly it's way to fast for me. I mean I can't even respond to someone verbally in a conversation in any sort of a timely manner. Usually there is long pause, with me staring off into the distance, before a response comes from my mouth. My family and close freinds start counting to see how long it will take me to respond to what they said. If that doesn't work, they start to make weird hand gesters right in front of my face to bring me back. That usually does it, but if it doesn't they will say somthing like "hey we're just gonna set your guitar on fire now ok?". I'm back.

There are some strange things I learned about IM'ing. I found myself instant messaging my wife and having conversations with her when she is in the same room! The other night we resolved a fight that we had had earlier that day through IM. Conflict resolution has never been easier! She can't ramble on and I am forced to get right to the point, which in most cases
goes like this ..." Honey I was a real jerk and I am not worthy of you. Tell ya what I'm gonna do though, I'm gonna keep ya on for another 60 day's"! This is the part where I sometimes get slapped.

The IM kicker just happened tonight. Appareantly you can actually talk to someone through I CHAT by means of the computer's built in microphone. We tried it out on our friend Randy Bohlender, and we actually talked with him through our computer while he was sitting at home in his kitchen. How cool is that ! The freaky thing is that he said he could see us ! I totaly believed him cause my wifes MAC has a camera built into it. Thank God he was just joking cause I was sitting there in just a beater, underwear, and dark socks. Oh yeah and I was eating chips too. There are 2 things I said I would never do in this life, lead worship and walk around the house in my underwear and dark socks. I have proudly done both repeatedly over the last few years. Hey when you're older, all you care about is comfort.

Brownie Coma

2006-11-19T20:20:00.001-08:00

I learned one important thing tonight. It is never a good idea to eat 6 brownies, one bowl of ice cream, and drink 2 cups of coffee before playing 4 straight hours in the prayer room. Five minutes into the first set, I sugar crashed big time. I am pretty sure I was drooling out the side of my mouth. Somebody thought I was manifesting and they drug me off stage into one of the side prayer rooms for deliverance. I managed to squeak out “just get me another brownie and I’ll be fine, I’m just crashing”. Apparently, they were in the middle of a fast cause, they left the room quickly in anger. One of them kicked me.

Getting Older....

2006-11-18T21:03:00.001-08:00

I remember the day it happened… I was scanning through the radio on a recent road trip and heard a familiar Bon Jovi song. Naturally, I stopped and cranked the sucker up and sang .. Yea, screamed at the top of my lungs. Suddenly, I was back in my Levi Jeans, the ones with the very tapered legs, and black leather jacket, caught up in yesteryear, which really seems more like yesterday. Then it happened… the song ended, and the DJ belted out “You’re listening to 95 Classic Rock, your home for all the hits from yesterday.” I grabbed my chest, pulled over to the side of the road and cried like a little schoolgirl. Classic Rock? What the…? I was 18 like two days ago, and now my music is on classic rock radio? When did this happen? Who decides when music gets shuffled from the “hip and happening” stations to the “remember these guys radio”?
That was the day I realized it had happened, I was getting older and had slipped into that category that I was so sure I would never fall into. But wait a second…I was cool, I played guitar, people liked me, but apparently, as of today, I am outdated. Today I am Davy Jones.

I have also recently discovered that my hair is falling out. My kids pointed that out one day at breakfast. “Gee Dad, your forehead is getting bigger.. and shinier.” Thanks kids. I am facing the dilemma of cutting my hair super short and getting use to the idea, or doing the whole “grow the hair long in the back thing while I am going bald on top”. Kind of like a mullet with no spikiness in the upper regions. A genuine Mathew Ward do.

My wife just bought me a pair of Chuck Taylor’s Converse All-Stars. Had not worn a pair of those since I was 6 I think. My mom bought them for me, and they were very “orange”. I guess they were in style then because I don’t have any recollection of getting the crap beat out of me in grade school, so I asked for a pair for my birthday, since IHOP fashion says they are back in style. My attempt to stay cool I guess.

I hear the 20-somethings at IHOP making fun of the 80’s all the time. Maybe I am just to sensitive, but it seems they are waiting until I am around to make fun of something that they were barely alive for. Ya know, those little digs that imply that anything that was before their time is completely cheesy. Now that I think of it, when it comes to the 80’s they may be right. But I have to admit, it still hurts a tad. I have to fight that really mature part of me that wants to go “Oh yeah well MY DAD CAN BEAT UP YOUR DAD” type of banter. I hold back though, cause I am supposed to be an example of godliness.

So any of you 20-somethings out their reading this, take my advice. Go easy on those 10- 20 years older than you. Someday you will lose your hair, and your music will end up on classic rock stations and be labeled by your kids as “cheesy”. When that day happens, call me. I will laugh at you, but only for a minute. I will take you out for coffee, I will give you a hug and tell you “it’s gonna be alright, your life isn’t over and trust me you don’t want to be in your 20’s again. Be strong, keep your chin up and by the way, why are you still wearing those Chuck Taylor’s? They stopped being cool like 10 years ago!” ☺

Peace,

John

Oh how the mighty have ..... changed occupations

2006-11-17T17:48:00.000-08:00

Today my good friend Randy Bohlender e-mailed me a “Where are they now” link to one of the best singers I have heard, Rick Florian. Randy made a reference in his blog to the band “Whiteheart” that caused a non-drug-induced flashback to my teen years. That band has produced some of the most incredible musicians ever. If you have never heard the album “Freedom”, you missed one of the best-produced albums of all time, in my opinion.
However, apparently their lead singer Rick Florian is now wearing the “plaid jacket” and selling real estate. Now don’t get me wrong selling real estate is not a bad thing at all, but when you have served society by ROCKING, and then you sell real estate… well it’s sad. At least for me it is.
I think I am in a slight depression. I can’t believe this! This guy had one of the best voices ever, and now he is wearing ties with blue button down collared shirts! I just had a Dunn Bros. “Mexican Mocha”, and this news just snapped me out of the nice little buzz I had going. Wow ..... I am going to the prayer room now, and I am going to stand on the “Cool Rock Stars That Now Have a Lam-o Job Line”, and intercede that God would at least allow “Whiteheart” to do a reunion tour where 30-something’s like me can kick back and reminisce on what it was like to have permed, blonde, highlighted mullets that had more height than the Flock of Seagulls (remember … “spray the roots”.) I might pull an all nighter on this one... my own personal burn service.
Hang in their Rick ... It all comes back around baby! Well, at least that’s what Lita Ford claims… Anyone seen anything new from her lately? I think she’s probably singing glam metal versions of Patsy Cline covers in Vegas somewhere.
The real scary thing is that I was never a real rock star, and I had a lam-o job so who am I to talk? When I saw his picture I thought “ that could be me”, and then I realized… nooooooo, it couldn’t, cause I was never an awesome rock star! So from one “usetawannabee”, to a guy who I am sure still has it …… I’m still pulling for ya man. Maybe I could talk him into coming to IHOP and teaching at FMA! How cool would that be!

In all seriousness, I am sure he now has a family and chooses not to be away from them by traveling across the country in some tour bus,
which means that he chose the thing that really lasts- family. God bless you, Rick. You still rock by me bro.

2006-11-17T10:52:00.000-08:00